A fact about your Pastor that may surprise you.

I have had the privilege to have some personal relationships with several pastors and their families.  A few of my late husband’s best buddies were pastors.  So I have known this fact for a long time.  It still surprises me how many people don’t realize it is an actual fact.  So here goes… brace yourself… your Pastor is a man.  An actual human being.  He is a descendant of Adam – a wonderfully and gloriously made man who is also prone toward sin – just like you and I are.

Too many of us try to put our appointed leaders on pedestals, like they can do no wrong.  This is bad for them and for us.  Yes, your Pastor accepted a calling from God to lead your church, and therefore to lead you.  He deserves your respect and attention; he has accepted a heavy burden to be the spiritual leader of the church.  James 3:1 says that he “will receive a stricter judgement” as he accepts the responsibility to lead God’s children.  He is to shepherd the flock for which God has paid a heavy price – the blood of Christ.

Be on guard for yourselves and for all the flock, among whom the Holy Spirit has appointed you as overseers, to shepherd the church of God, which He purchased with His own blood.  Acts 20:28

Remember that while he is taking on this great responsibility, he is still just a man.  He was born naked, cold and screaming.  He went through the “terrible twos” and those awkward middle school years and survived all of the rebellious tendencies of a teenager.  He is occasionally an annoying husband and also an imperfect father.  Why is this so important for you to know?  It is important to your response to your Pastor.

1. Don’t put your Pastor on a pedestal.  He needs your encouragement and support at least as much as you need his guidance and shepherding.  He needs to know that it is OK for him to have a bad day sometimes.  Also, if you put him up on that pedestal too many times or for too long, he might decide he likes the view and try to stay up there.  That would make you have to share in the responsibility of his imminent fall back earth.  None of us want that.
2. Knowing that your Pastor is susceptible to the same temptations that entice us all, you should be in earnest prayer for him.  Pray for strength, for wisdom to lead, for perseverance when the job gets hard.  Spiritual warfare is real my friend, and your Pastor is standing on the front line.
3. Extend Grace when he doesn’t meet your expectations.  First, question if your expectations are even valid.   But, even if you believe that they are, remember God only made one perfect man, and He is not your Pastor.  Your Pastor is on the same lifelong path of sanctification that you are on.  He will be further along than some and not as far as others.  At some point he will disappoint you, just like every other human in your life.
4. Just as he is a man, your Pastor’s wife is just a woman and his children are just kids.  I think the job of Pastor is one of the few jobs that attempt to put extreme and unfair pressure on the family of the man.  I have never heard someone comment about how ineptly the wife of a surgeon cut up the vegetable for her salad or carved her turkey.  My Dad helped lead the engineering efforts at IBM that brought forth the first personal computers; oh, if my mother was judged on her (lack of) technical skills as harshly as the church often judges the Pastor’s wife or his children.  (… and don’t ask Dad to execute a dinner party for a large group.)  Put another way, my husband was an electrician, but please don’t ask me to rewire your house; we would all – including your neighbors – inevitably regret that decision.  I have skills and gifts and they are very different from the ones that my husband had.  They are also different from those of other electricians’ wives.
5. Finally, let him know.  Let him know that you are praying for him.  Let him know that you appreciate him.  Let him know that you take the time to look up the scriptures that he quotes on Sunday morning, helping you learn and holding him accountable if he should stray from the Word of God.  If a particular message really impacted you, share that.  (I have been told that there is nothing as bad as pouring yourself out and wondering if anyone at all was impacted, or even heard the message.)  Let his wife know that you appreciate the sacrifices that she has had to make for her husband’s dedicated service to you.  Tell them in person, or send a card or a note.  If you are able, occasionally treat them to a dinner or even a gift card for a good cup of coffee or for ice cream for the family.  God is omniscience, your Pastor is not; don’t just assume that he knows.